No ceremony. No apology. Just… no.
1. Being “low maintenance” while maintaining literally everything
We’re meant to be chill, effortless and “naturally glowing” — while also moisturised, toned, emotionally stable, financially literate, professionally thriving, socially available, well-dressed, well-rested, and ageing in a way that is both subtle and admirable.
Apparently the ideal woman is a swan.
Serene on the surface.
Paddling like hell underneath while also doing Pilates, booking appointments, remembering passwords and wondering if she drank enough water.
2. The soft pressure to be everything (but never too much of anything)
Be ambitious — but don’t scare anyone.
Confident — but still approachable.
Funny — but not sarcastic.
Smart — but don’t correct people.
Successful — but flexible, nurturing, available and somehow apologetic about it.
You may take up space.
Please compress yourself slightly first.
3. Hustle culture disguised as “self-care”
According to the internet, burnout can be cured with a candle, a walk, a gratitude journal and waking up at 5am.
Have you tried yoga?
Have you tried breathwork?
Have you tried simply reorganising your entire life before breakfast?
(Note, that is alllll sarcasm)
We don’t need another productivity hack.
We need fewer expectations designed for people who have a 24/7 personal assistant quietly managing every admin task, emotional need and life detail behind the scenes.
4. The emotional labour nobody is tracking (but everyone is enjoying for free)
Remembering birthdays.
Managing vibes.
Smoothing tension.
Reading between the lines.
Explaining things nicely so nobody feels uncomfortable.
It’s unpaid.
It’s invisible.
And the moment we stop doing it, we’re “a bit off lately.”
Correct!
5. Being told “this is just how it is”
The most efficient conversation-stopper of all time.
It usually means: “I’ve normalised exhaustion and would like you to do the same.”
No.
That’s not adulthood.
That’s nonsense in sensible shoes.
Final thought
Women in their 30s, 40s and 50s aren’t becoming bitter.
We’re becoming observant.
And funny.
And increasingly allergic to bullshit.
A gentle, zero-pressure CTA (because you’re already doing enough)
This week, try just one of these. Or none. Both are valid.
- Pick one bullshit expectation from this list and quietly stop participating in it. No announcement required.
- Or, name it. Literally just notice it and say, “Oh. That one again.” Awareness counts.
- Or, do the radical act of resting without earning it.
No optimisation.
No glow-up.
No personal growth plan.
Just a small, private rebellion — for you.
